The Whimsical Olive Has Made A Comeback: A Long Overdue Explanation

You might have found it strange that this blog underwent a few changes: it became active again after an unexpectedly long hiatus. It had a name change and got some tweaks to the design. A mysterious person is writing this post. It's no secret: I've made a comeback.

I've always been a little sporadic with the posts. The reason why things are revving up again is because I finally feel inspired.  It feels like a long while back, but I started blogging in middle school when I was thirteen. Back then, books were the only place where I could find comfort through escapism because I was generally shy and reserved. Fictionally Obsessed was created because of how excessive my feelings towards books were and how necessary it felt to express those emotions which would have otherwise remained concealed. Through doing so, I discovered a wonderful community of people who felt the same way about books. So what was the reason behind the enigmatic dissapearance?

As I graduated from middle school and began high school, I felt as though huge changes had occurred. Although it was not explicit, there was a pressure to construct a new identity and to fit in with the rest of the population. There seemed to be a great focus on doing rather than being. There was a lack of focus on reflection and introspection but rather on creating memories, building relationships and living in the sensory present. As a teenager, living life to the fullest seemed to be all the rage. As people, we all want to conform and fit in and as a young teenager, I did not have the courage to deviate from those standards. I didn't surround myself with people who shared the same interests as I did. I read much less. I was focused on fabricating the image--the social mask--of living recklessly and building meaningful relationships when it is not everything. Sometimes high school is like an awkward party where you don't want to be but convince yourself otherwise. Looking back in retrospect though, it almost feels trivial that these irrational feelings consumed my confidence to be unconditionally myself.

However, there are some inherent personality traits that don't disappear no matter how hard you try to conceal. Despite putting a halt to blogging, I still engaged in many personal creative projects that brought a lot of fulfillment to life.

I was never one to have a very fruitful social life but instead, I loved to do a variety of unconventional things in comparison to people I knew from my school. For example, some of the hobbies I picked up was drawing (which I always had a passion for, but I drew much, much more), playing League of Legends, photography for Instagram, and listening to kpop. In fact, my kpop obsession became such a large part of my life that I started an Instagram of anime and kpop art (@tsukkitori) and started my own business on Etsy (Tsukkitori's Kpop Shop) where I sold handmade kpop merchandise from photo cards to polaroids. Soon enough, a small hobby became a part-time job. I was always busy making kpop merchandise for fans; only recently did I put a temporary halt to it because of the demands of school. I also became one of the leaders for my school's kpop club as I plan all the kpop- related games and activities we do, such as dance performances and events. I underwent pleasant and unpleasant life-changing experiences. Most importantly, I created a deep bond with extraordinary people who encouraged me to be my self. 

Currently, I'm in Grade 12 IB. It's a rigorous academic program that has taught me valuable life skills despite how much me and my sympathetic classmates complain to each other about it. This is my graduating year and I've been told that it will be the worst semester of high school with all the college applications, final exams with a 75% weighting, three individual investigations, an extended essay, and 8-9 mandatory extracurriculars. So it's no joke that I'm loaded with busy. 

But there's one piece of life advice I'll be giving through this incessantly long post. Everyone is busy, but it is important that you make time for yourself to live life (responsibly and conscientiously). Make your busy life meaningful instead of it feeling like busy work. Otherwise, there will be a lot of valuable experiences missed where the opportunity won't present itself again. Personally, I've made a commitment to do so. While I'm not going to deny that my blog is a way to fufil the CAS requirements for the IB program, I don't think of it that way--it is something that I genuinely love doing and those perks are just an added bonus. 

Coming back to this blog was the last step of self-love and coming to terms with my unconventional interests. Conversely, I have never really escaped them and if anything, they further developed and flourished on a larger scale. Although I read less, my interest in ranting my thoughts still urged me to write reviews for kdramas on MyDramaList that I watched (I will link the reviews I wrote on this blog in the near future) or music that I liked. I continued to write in a journal and list hopes and aspirations for the future. My drawings were also like a documentation of the interests I had, such as the bands I were obsessed with at a specific time. I could never deviate too far from my predilection for writing and self-expression, and its how I am here today. 

Lastly, although its a given, I want to make to make this blog feel special. I want to be more personal so the authenticity can be seen through every word. As a matter of fact, I'm oversharing today to prove this point. Although I know it is likely that Fictionally Obsessed may be forgotten about after its hiatus, for those of you reading, you have no idea how grateful I am that you've come this far. Yet, long gone are the days where I felt validated by the number of interactions on a post, viewcounts, or the status of being a book blogger because while they are a plus, I realized that the most valuable part of blogging is the sanctuary it provides and the opportunity it gives bloggers and readers to be unconditionally themselves. And these days, I find that this sort of opportunity is becoming increasingly rare.

However, I can't guarantee that I'll be posting on a strict schedule like many other bloggers do because for me, it takes away the creativity that comes with spontaneity. It is easy to put up a facade and fabricate the image of a review writing machine, but I want to be put meaning and be confident in everything I do. Hence, The Whimsical Olive will not only consist of book reviews and book related things like Fictionally Obsessed. Figuratively, I'm still fictionally obsessed, but throughout the long hiatus, I have found the courage to be confidently whimsical. I'll be capriciously jumping from book reviews, film reviews, kpop, art, photography, life, and anything else that is meaningful to this seventeen-year-old trying to find her place in this world. But I can promise you that I will keep blogging for as long as this love for the beautiful things in life pervades. 

Life is a lot better when less damns are given about everything. Do what you want to do, and do it with confidence.