On Moving On

Whenever I have time aside from occupying my life with busyness, such as when I'm on autopilot playing the piano or in the car alone with my thoughts, I always think about things that I regret doing. Sometimes, I just can't seem to silence those thoughts from my head and continue on with my life. Whether it would be shame or embarrassment, things I have done in my past affect me emotionally in a way that disturbs my day to day functioning. For those of you who don't know, I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, which was a result of past trauma from a terrible first relationship that left me in an emotionally unstable trainwreck. As a survivor of sexual assault, I experienced a manic phase that left my life in shambles due to things I did that I had no control over--things that still to this day haunt my conscience as much as I try to push these thoughts away.